Today is the day that I got home (back to my apt in OR) when I first got here I was so excited to be back, then my roommate left for work and I came home to a dark empty house and the reality set in that I am alone. So to cure this feeling I decided to to cook spaghetti, and do laundry, then I came to the conclusion that maybe the reason for my sudden overdose of sadness is that I have been up sense 4am, so I decided that a nap was the cure, so that is what I did... but when I woke up I was still alone, and the sadness crept back into my life. I'm not with my family.. I'm not with him. Wondering the house alone listening to music that I can barely hear on full blast because my ear is still clogged and infected. This is where I need a companion.. dog.. cat.. fly.. something. I don't like being alone because then it is just me and my sincerely not right mind and there is no one to save me from myself, so I sit and think about everything that is going wrong; which is defiantly not the cure for what I was/am already feeling. The I was going to go and sit in the hot tub, but sitting there alone still didn't sound appealing. All I want to do is crawl in to his bed and be held. Unfortunately, I have another long 6 months to endure till I can do that. All though there is no promise that I will go back and still have things be he same, which really worries me, because if I loose another person that I really care about than I can guarantee it will be a very very long while before I open up my heart again. I miss my mom already.
I just wish you where here.
Feel Free To Blog Stalk Me
-Larissa Pree
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